apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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