It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
