I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I intend to get homeless drunk
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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