I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
