Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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