They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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