But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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