I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
