the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
