we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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