Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
