Duck Duck Cougar?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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