the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
