if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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