People in love make me want to vomit
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
