you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
