i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
