it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
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