she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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