Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
