my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
try to milk me bitch
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