Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
