ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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