It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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