i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
