so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize