Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize