Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Is it penis luge time yet?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
