I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
