I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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