k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
