so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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