We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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