Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
