I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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