is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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