Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
