Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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