Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
