yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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