you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
