youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She bit a glass in half.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
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You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
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Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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