I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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