Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
