I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize