Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize