Your tits are I can't wait for
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always time for handjobs
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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