we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
