I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize