just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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