I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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