i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize