You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Hippo gnu deer
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
