weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
