Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
