why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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