Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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