i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize